


For the Love of Emily

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Drama, F/M, Family, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-09
Updated: 2014-10-09
Packaged: 2018-02-20 11:27:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2427020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“She’ll push you away but don’t let her stray too far.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	For the Love of Emily

**Author's Note:**

> the song on the radio is _Only One Road_ by Celine Dion.

Hotch looked up from his paperwork, beckoning Prentiss in with his hand. Glancing at the clock he saw it was after ten. He was a workaholic again. He always had been but for a little while he thought maybe there would be a reason to go home at night…some nights at least.

 

“What do you need, Prentiss?”

 

“A favor actually. I don’t have a right to ask, I know. I wouldn’t if there were any other way but…”

 

“What do you need?” Hotch repeated. He looked at her, immediately sensing her nervousness. “Sit down.”

 

“I will stand if you don’t mind.”

 

“Alright. Me too.” Hotch was very uncomfortable with people standing over him. That was something Emily knew about him; she knew so many things about him.

 

“My mother is coming to town this weekend. I guess I should say she is coming home. Anyway, we haven’t had a chance to talk much, so she doesn’t know…”

 

“She thinks we’re still engaged.” Hotch said.

 

“Yeah,” Emily nodded slowly. “I didn’t want to tell her something like that over the phone. I admit to brushing it under the rug and I probably shouldn’t have but I did. The last thing I needed was my mother finding more fault with me.” She laughed but it was mirthless. “You would think I would just be used to it by now.”

 

“What do you want me to do?” Hotch asked without hesitation.

 

“We need to be engaged this weekend. Not the whole weekend Hotch, just Friday night…and maybe Saturday afternoon if it comes to that. I'm sorry, and I know two days is short notice but I would not ask if I wasn’t backed against the wall.”

 

“You could always just tell her the truth.”

 

“I won't be able to avoid that forever but I certainly plan to this weekend.”

 

“Alright.” He nodded.

 

“Alright what?” Emily was nervous and she hated the feeling. She felt at Hotch’s mercy, hated it, and was trying not to turn that hate on him. This was actually her fault; all of it was. She could have easily handled this as she did most things with her mother. She could have sent an email and then avoided her until things smoothed over. There was no reason to tamper with a good thing. Well, maybe not a good thing but something that worked.

 

“How are we going to do this?” He asked.

 

“The reservation is Friday evening at 7:30 for Equinox. I want to promise not to take up more than a couple of hours of your time but you never know with Mother…prepare to lose your entire evening.”

 

“I can handle it. I even have a tie I think will meet her approval.”

 

Emily smiled a bit but she felt nauseous. There was no other way for this to end but badly. At least it was a bad ending that was some time off. Sitting through dinner with her mother after announcing she’d broken off her engagement would be instant bad. She couldn’t deal with that…she was dealing with enough.

 

“I owe you one.” It was all she knew to say.

 

“Friends look out for each other. You don’t see your mother often, either by choice or circumstance. The times that you do should not have you pulling out your hair. How are we going to coordinate this?”

 

Emily intended to leave the office at five on Friday. She would go home, change, and Hotch could pick her up at quarter to seven.

 

“Is that alright?” she asked.

 

“That’s fine.” He nodded.

 

She nodded too, making her way to the door. There were so many words on the tip of her tongue but Emily hardly knew how to say them. That had been a problem for a while now.

 

“Thank you Hotch.”

 

“I have a mother too…I understand.”

 

“Yeah, but…” Emily bit her lip but shook her head. “Goodnight.”

 

“Have a good night. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

“You should probably call it a night as well. There have been too many late nights recently.”

 

“I will go in a while; I have work to finish.”

 

They looked at each other for a few moments. Hotch looked away first and went back to his file. Emily sighed, mumbling another goodnight, and leaving the office. When he heard the soft click of the door, Hotch looked up. He watched her gather things in her messenger bag, take her purse, and walk to the elevator. He was tempted to follow her, say anything, make her see sense, but he would wait. This problem would be solved working with his head and not his heart. He had less than 48 hours.

 

***

 

Emily stared at herself in the full-length mirror of her hall closet. She took a deep breath and added more pins to her hair. The nerves were getting to her; she didn’t know which aspect of tonight freaked her out more. Emily didn’t like lying to her mother…it was something she was not good at. Lies of omission, they was fine, but here she was about to wave a lie right under her nose. Lighting one of her cloves from the kitchen drawer, Emily answered the ringing wall phone.

 

“Hello.”

 

“There is an Agent Hotchner down here, ma'am.”

 

“Send him up please.”

 

Emily wondered if it was appropriate to have a drink before dinner. No, she would be OK; the cigarette took a little edge off. Emily opened the door before Hotch could knock. His face broke into a smile as soon as he saw her.

 

“You look amazing,” he said, walking in.

 

Emily wore a maroon cocktail dress that brushed her knees. It was long-sleeved with a v-neck collar. He had never seen her in heels so high before but she seemed to be working them fine as she walked from the door to the kitchen. Hotch followed.

 

“Smoking is bad for your health.”

 

“I prefer to think of the people this cigarette will save tonight. You, me, and my mother…it’s worth the ten minutes of my life. I approve of the tie.”

 

“Kenneth Cole.” Hotch smiled. He wore a black suit, black dress shirt, and a maroon tie. They had not coordinated beforehand, they never did, but this kind of thing happened all the time. He watched Emily take a deep inhale from her cigarette before putting it out.

 

“We better go,” she brushed past him toward the closet. “Mother hates when I am late. Between traffic and the drizzle…”

 

“You will need this,” Hotch cut her off, holding the jewelry box in his open palm. “We cannot pull off this ruse without the proper hardware.”

 

“Oh right.” Emily tried to smile but she did not want to put on that ring. She did though, letting Hotch help her into her jacket.

 

There was very little talking on the way down to the lobby and in his car. She looked out at the light steady rain as Hotch focused on the road. Celine Dion played on the radio; as much as he wanted to turn it off he couldn’t.

 

_I'm looking back, through the years, down this highway_

_Memories they all lead up to this one day_

_And many dreams lost along the way_

_Haunt me still…I guess they always will_

_When love was too much to bear,_

_I just left it there_

_Here I stand face to face with this heart of mine_

_Living without you I only fall behind_

_We had a love most people never find_

_All this time, I never realized_

_And the courage I finally found_

_Has made me turn around…_

 

“I found the pictures that we took in Hilton Head the other night.” He said.

 

“Hmm?” Emily looked at him.

 

“I found pictures from South Carolina…the blue bikini top. You looked so happy.”

 

“I probably was.”

 

Probably? He did not want to question that. He shouldn’t have brought it up; what was he trying to achieve? Hotch didn’t like fishing expeditions and since he had no idea what he would pull up on his pole it was better to let it go. He pulled up to the valet parking, grabbing his umbrella and getting out of the car. He opened Emily’s door, holding out his hand. Aaron and Emily held hands all the time…if tonight was going to work they would have to be believable.

 

“Do I smell like cloves?” Emily asked. “My mother is a bloodhound and she will never let me hear the end of it.”

 

Hotch pulled her a little closer, inhaling the scent of her hair.

 

“You smell like Sheer Veil.” He whispered.

 

“Thank you.” She cleared her throat as they walked into the restaurant.

 

“Good evening, Ms. Prentiss. The Ambassador is already here.”

 

“Hello, Michel.”

 

“You look breathtaking.”

 

“Thank you so much,” Emily smiled. “You remember my fiancé, Aaron Hotchner?”

 

“I do. Good evening, sir.”

 

“Good evening.” Hotch noted to himself that the word fiancé still came easily from her lips.

 

Michel led them to their table where Elizabeth Prentiss was sitting. A man sat with her; Emily’s guard went up. Leave it to her mother to pull an ambush.

 

“Emily,” Elizabeth stood and embraced her daughter.

 

“Hello Mother.” Emily kissed her cheek.

 

“Do you remember Timothy Northam, darling? We worked together in Rome.”

 

“Yes,” Emily nodded, extending her hand. “Is it still Bishop Northam?”

 

“It is. My God Emily, I haven’t seen you in almost 20 years… you have blossomed into the most beautiful woman.”

 

“The dashing man with her is her fiancé, Aaron Hotchner. He is in the FBI, just like Em.”

 

“That is wonderful.”

 

“Are you joining us for dinner, Bishop?”

 

“No, no, I just stopped by to say hello to your mother. It was great to see you again as well.” He reached for Hotch’s hand as he still had Emily’s. “Let me be the first to bless your future union. The Bible says that it is not good that man should be alone; God will make him a helper comparable to him. What God’s love brings together nothing can tear apart.”

 

“Amen.” Hotch replied with a solemn nod. “Thank you, father.”

 

As Father Northam left, the server arrived with a bottle of wine.

 

“I ordered a Sauvignon Blanc, I hope you don’t mind.” Elizabeth said.

 

“Sounds lovely.” Emily replied.

 

Hotch held out her chair, making sure she and her mother were seated before he sat. Three glasses poured, the server, whom her mother called Daniel, left them to decide on dinner.

 

“A toast,” Elizabeth held up her wineglass. “To my youngest daughter Emily, who has finally found her happiness. I wish you both so much love, joy, laughter, and to find all the things in each other that are missing in yourselves.”

 

“Hear, hear.” Hotch said.

 

Their glasses came together and Emily sipped the wine. It was delicious. She would need some more of it if she wanted to make it through this evening.

 

“Tell me how wedding plans are going.” Elizabeth said.

 

“Can we talk about something else?” Emily asked.

 

“Certainly not. Don’t tell me you're too busy to plan your wedding, Emily. Come now, you haven’t even picked out a date? A church? A wedding party?”

 

“Work has been so busy.” Hotch replied, saving her. “Don’t worry, everything will be handled in due time.”

 

“It’s been almost five months since you’ve gotten engaged. I would think you would want a little time as newlyweds before you started a family. Emily is already in her late 30s and I know she wants children. Do you want children as well Aaron…I know you already have a child from your first marriage.”

 

“Mother…”

 

“All I'm saying is…”

 

“Would you excuse me?” Emily stood abruptly, surprising her mother. “When the server returns please order me the large spinach salad with braised beef and light balsamic vinaigrette.”

 

“Eat food tonight, Em.”

 

“Mother, would you for once just do as I ask? Excuse me.”

 

She walked away from the table and Elizabeth looked at Hotch. He held up to the scrutiny, sipping his wine. This would be his only glass tonight, he was driving, and he wanted to enjoy it.

 

“She has cold feet.” Elizabeth said.

 

“I'm sorry?”

 

“She has cold feet Aaron. My little girl is always poised to run right into the fire to save the day. Emily is a warrior. Did you know a shaman in Jakarta read her lifeline when she was barely two and told me she had the heart of a lioness? He said that she would be strong, proud, and fierce in her loyalty and protection of those she loved. 

 

“He also said she would lose much but never her strength. He said she would forgo frivolities for the solitary life from fear of more loss. He said he would never express her fear; there would never be chinks in her armor. I see her on that path and I am so grateful that you have come along and she can love you. She’ll push you away but don’t let her stray too far. I let her stray too far; I know the pain that comes along with it.”

 

“I love Emily very much; we’ve both made sacrifices for this relationship.”

 

“Are you going to get married?” Elizabeth asked. “I don’t think I would be the first person Emily would tell if the answer changed to no.”

 

“There have been some changes but the answer is yes.” He nodded. “You just have to be patient. We all do.”

 

“She’s been let down, hurt, by me and so many others. I just want Emily to be happy and even when she tells me she is I can never be sure. Her poker face surpasses even mine.”

 

“She’s going to be fine. I can't shelter Emily, Ambassador, I can only stand beside her and fight.”

 

“That’s good enough for me, Agent Hotchner.”

 

The server was walking away from the table as Emily returned. She had given herself a nice pep talk in the bathroom; she would make it through this. It was just one evening. If her mother wanted tomorrow afternoon, she would go it alone. Maybe then she would just break the bad news and get it over with. Sitting down at the table, she was surprised when Hotch took her hand. She looked at him, at his warm smile, and couldn’t help but return it. He was being such a good friend; they would get through this together.

 

“We ordered your salad.” Her mother said. “Are you alright, dear?”

 

“Yeah…yes.” She nodded. “I'm sorry about that.”

 

“I was just telling Aaron about the shaman in Jakarta.”

 

“Oh Mother,” Emily rolled her eyes and looked at Hotch. “I am not a lioness. Don’t believe the hype.”

 

“I would have to agree with the shaman’s assessments.” Hotch replied.

 

“Well you are both wrong.”

 

“I have decided not to pressure you about wedding plans.” Elizabeth said. “We haven’t seen each other in a while; I want this to be a good evening.”

 

“I appreciate that Mother. We want to have a nice evening as well.”

 

***

 

“I can't believe I forgot to tell you this darling, but your Aunt Jackie will be in DC next month.”

 

“What? Are you serious?”

 

Emily looked up from the dessert she and Hotch shared. It was a large double fudge brownie with two scoops of coffee ice cream. All the diplomacy and political blah blah blah she sat through and now her mother got to the good stuff. Surely she did these things on purpose.

 

“She has some speaking engagements and a forum on poverty.” Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “Or something of that nature.”

 

“Aunt Jackie?” Hotch asked.

 

“My mother’s twin sister.”

 

“Oh my God, there are two of you.” Hotch could not stop it before it came out.

 

“We are fraternal twins, Aaron.” Elizabeth replied laughing. “I am nine minutes older.”

 

“And you never let her forget it, Mother. It’s Jacqueline Hendricks-Steele.”

 

“Jacqueline Hendricks-Steele is your aunt? The humanitarian and writer?”

 

“Yes,” Emily nodded.

 

“She used to model bikinis before she had her epiphany.” Elizabeth said.

 

“Mother, she was in her 20s at the time. We should probably get the check.”

 

“In case Emily hasn’t told you, I also have a younger brother Nathan. He is an expert in Russian history with tenure at both Tulane and New York University in their History Department. He even spent two years at Moscow State University in their History Department.”

 

“Impressive,” Hotch nodded. “Your father is an only child, right?”

 

“Yes,” Emily nodded, happy to see the check. It was almost over.

 

After the bill was settled, they stood in the waiting area as the valet retrieved Hotch’s car. Elizabeth’s driver was waiting for her. She embraced her daughter.

 

“We should spend more time together.” She whispered.

 

“The FBI keeps me really busy.”

 

“I’ll make time if you do. No pressure.”

 

Emily smiled but didn’t say anything. Her mother hugged Aaron, whose hand she still held.

 

“Take care of yourself, and my little girl, Aaron.”

 

“Yes ma'am.”

 

“Feel free to call me if she drives you crazy.”

 

They both smiled. Elizabeth squeezed their hands, kissing Emily once more.

 

“We should have brunch on Sunday, darling. There are things we have to discuss.”

 

“Alright, Mother.”

 

Elizabeth went out to her car just as the valet came with Hotch’s. As he and Emily went outside, she was finally able to slide her hand out of his. He covered her head from the rain and held the door open for her. After paying the valet, Hotch climbed into the driver’s seat.

 

“How about some coffee?” he asked, starting the car.

 

“I just had coffee ice cream.” She reasoned.

 

“It’s a chilly night; you should have something warm in you. There is this great new coffee shop near my house that stays open late. I think you would like it.”

 

In reality, Emily was a coffee fiend. She was also quite fond of tea, which might be better for her nerves right now. She sighed.

 

“Tea might be good, maybe a nice warm cheese Danish.”

 

“Where does all the food go?” Hotch asked, pulling out of the parking spot and into evening traffic.

 

“My sister used to say it all went to my head.”

 

Hotch glanced at her and laughed. It was his real laugh, it caught her, and they laughed together.

 

***

 

He got her to open up, just a little, talking about her adventurous aunt. She always looked up to her mother’s twin and it had been almost two years since they had seen each other.

 

“Why so long?” Hotch asked.

 

“Everyone is so busy.” Emily replied, sipping her tea. “You just look up and too much time has gone by. We should probably hold onto each other better than we have.”

 

“I couldn’t agree more.”

 

Emily didn’t respond. She drank her tea and listened to John Waite and Allison Krauss over the PA system. It was a cozy café; Emily could not help but reach across the small table for Hotch’s hand. He sighed as her fingers moved along his.

 

“Thank you for doing this for me.” She said.

 

“I love you; of course I would do this for you.”

 

“Hotch…”

 

“What? We are good together, Emily. I know some of the pain you endured during your teens but nothing could ever stop me from loving you. When you walked away, it broke my heart.”

 

“You would never look at me the same way when you know the whole story.”

 

“We have the rest of our lives to tell each other the whole story. Please don’t run away from me.”

 

“I'm already gone.” Emily looked down at their hands.

 

“You don’t feel gone to me. It’s OK to be scared, worried, and concerned…we all have hurdles to cross. We are going to have a happy life, happy children, and one day when the BAU is behind us, when my hair is all white, and you’ve got those crinkles around your eyes…”

 

“Crows feet, Hotch.”

 

“Right, crows’ feet, even after all of that we will still be together. You are mistaken if you think that I think you are perfect. You are perfect for me though.”

 

“When I love someone, I hurt them. If I manage not to do that, then I lose them. I figure if I don’t love then no one gets hurt.”

 

“You get hurt, baby.”

 

“I can take care of myself.” Emily replied.

 

“You never have to tell me that…I see you do it everyday. I am in complete awe of you, Emily Prentiss. I will feel that way until the day I die.”

 

“Don’t say that,” she wanted to pull away from him but Hotch held on. She also wasn’t trying very hard.

 

“I'm saying it because it’s true.   Don’t think about the things we haven’t said yet. Don’t think about the family pressure. Please do not think about Erin Strauss and the FBI. Just think about you and I; you and I have always been good. Hasn’t it?”

 

Emily didn’t answer. She finished her tea and Danish, knew it was time to go home. The game was over…it was best for everyone involved to head immediately back to reality.

 

***

 

He opted for no music on the ride back to The Watergate. Hotch did not want to hear any songs letting him know what an idiot he was for letting her get out of that car. They sat quietly, listening to the windshield wipers slash back and forth across the wet glass. Emily stole a few glances at him but didn’t know what to say. She wanted to thank him again for his help tonight, let him know she planned to tell her mother the truth on Sunday at brunch, but she couldn’t bring herself to say it. 

 

It had been about six weeks since she gave the ring back. Six weeks since Matthew Benton was murdered and her world came crashing down. She wasn’t worth loving…it hurt too much. Hotch double parked in front of the building, putting on his blinkers. He looked at her but Emily didn’t look back.

 

“I had a nice evening,” he said.

 

“I don’t know if you mean that or not, but thanks.”

 

“Why wouldn’t I mean it?”

 

“My mother can be a handful.”

 

“At least I know where you got it from.”

 

Emily smirked.

 

“Em…”

 

“Why don’t you come up, Hotch?”

 

“What?”

 

“Come upstairs…have a nightcap?”

 

“Yeah.” he couldn’t agree fast enough, driving down to the underground garage that held overnight parking for visitors. It wasn’t over, not this night and not this relationship.

 

***

                                                                                                                                     



End file.
